Journal

[peccant]

So. I don't do journals. Or blogs. Or anything really. It's all I can do to haul myself out of bed in the morning and make a cup of coffee. Which I don't, because I just don't have the energy. My name is Lydia, I'm 26 years old, and I have a 6 month old daughter who is the light of my life. I weigh something near 240 pounds, as I imagine I've probably gained not lost a decent amount since my little girl was born. I'm 5'9". I am morbidly obese. I intend to change that. When I started University I was a size 16 and I thought I was *huge*, and there was no turning back. That I would never be "skinny" like the other girls. I wish I'd known then what I do now. I was skinny, or at least as skinny as I care to be. I've gained 10 sizes in 8 years, I hope to god I can reverse it in at least 4. I don't want to be overly confident, I don't want to lose hope if I hit stumbling blocks; I don't want to give up either. I'm doing this for my baby, but what's more- I'm doing this for me. I'm doing this for all the amazing memories I won't have with my daughter if I don't. I want to play with her, and be active. I want to not be winded when we run through the park together, I want to be able to run alongside her when I push her off on her bicycle for the first time. I want to be able to keep up with the angel I brought into this world and not hold her back because 'Mommy's too tired to play x,y, or z." I'm writing this so I'll stay honest. It's my intention to post pictures at least monthly if not more often, and to post a food journal daily. I'm making it all public in the hopes that the thought of an imaginary audience knowing I ate 3 slices of lemon meringue pie in one sitting will humiliate me out of doing just such an act. A further deterrent from the cravings to binge on sugar and carbs that will be an inevitable part of this journey. I'm going to cut out all sugars and carbs for 2 weeks, and then slowly re-introduce them. At least that's the plan. Dentist appointment tomorrow morning with the husband and child. Will apprise you, dear journal of my daily indiscretions after that.